Behavior in dating
So I want you to know that I am putting this out there to help and inspire everyone to have more dating success, to point fingers. ” and pretty much any sentence that begins with ‘why didn’t you,’ it’s like nails on a chalkboard.
I can tell you from a guy’s perspective that when a woman says things like: “Why didn’t you call? Those kinds of statements will immediately put a guy on the defensive rather than motivating him to change and he’ll probably withdraw emotionally as a result… I would say the core reason of this is that it attacks a guy’s sense of freedom and feeling of acknowledgment. Well, when a woman starts down this chain of “Why didn’t you…” it feels to a guy as if she isn’t noticing all of the other things he is doing for a relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want a relationship with all the good qualities: connection, chemistry, understanding, intimacy, attentiveness and on and on.
I think in his mind, I’m pretty much his girlfriend.I can’t go into as much depth as I’d like to in this post, but men and women have different senses of how they’d like to be noticed for things (and what they’d like to be noticed for.) At the root of it, when a man feels like he make a woman happy, he will not want to be in a relationship with her (or if he stays, he will not want to deepen it). Back to neediness: When a woman starts acting needy, especially in the beginning of a relationship, it shows up as the ultimate red flag. Neediness is synonymous with ’emotional dependency’, as in: “This woman is dependent on the guy in order for her to feel good.” Now, sometimes when I start explaining this, I’ll get a comment saying, “Oh so what? You can have it all, too, but what I’m trying to explain in this article is that you don’t get it from it.On the other hand, when a woman acknowledges him for all the things he’s doing well, he will almost certainly want to deepen the relationship and stay in it. We’re supposed to be emotional robots with no feelings or desires and just accept anything a guy is doing without complaint? You create a relationship with those qualities by inspiring those things within the relationship.The time and energy wasted on wanting validation from others, perhaps, should be spent living our lives and pursuing personal endeavors that establish a solid foundation and personal happiness that is not contingent upon another’s actions or reactions. I was seeing this guy for about 9mnths and in the beginning it was wonderful.then i wanted to see him more i started complaining he wasn’t making time for me. then i tried the 30 day NC 2 weeks ago and broke it twice.
He talks openly about his work but claims that he has no time for dating other woman. When we were together, I tended to act needy but now I enjoy being alone and catch up on my needs not his. The truth is that being “needy” cannot be explained in it’s totality, whereas the behavior or actions that coincide with neediness is very subjective. Men and/or women must realize that seeking happiness or fulfilment from a significant other can be destructive to a relationship.