Online dating and flaking
So please feel free to ask me anything via Twitter at @glamourmag #jake or via email [email protected]*Hi, Jake, I've been in contact (mostly over text) with a guy I met on Match for the last month and a half, and we have yet to meet.He asked me to meet up with him once, but it was an on-the-spot thing, and I declined because it was short too notice and already late.While I didn't think I'd ever be back out there searching for love again, I've learned a lot about relationships, and I hope I can pass some of that knowledge on to you.I'm here to help you navigate the sometimes impenetrable, inscrutable male mind and make dating a more pleasant and hopefully more fruitful experience.We also had a nice conversation via Skype after that.Since then though, we've been back to the every-other-day texting about how our days were.All women know that the condition "flaky guy syndrome" is very much real and can, at times, be felt at epidemic proportions.The symptoms include the following things: he cancels plans (with or without a good excuse), you don't hear from him for a while and then he suddenly pops up again, despite having a great time together things never seem to progress to the next level.
I understand that work can get pretty consuming in some professions, but I feel like he'd make things happen if he was really interested—am I overreacting?I hate wasting a lot of time with emails and texts with a person I've never met. Just say something like, "Hey, I know we're both busy, but I'd love to at least meet you to see if there's anything worth pursuing. Or, if you're not interested, that's OK too—just let me know."And let me know how it goes!You might meet and realize in two seconds that there's zero chemistry. We're not stupid enough to think this, but on an unconscious level we're so busy hoping it could be the case that we behave accordingly.In 99.9 percent of cases flaky guy will continue to try and get away with what he can.
Attempts at being extra attractive, laid back, funny, smart and generally super human will not cure "flaky guy syndrome."So, why is this the tactic that many of us decide to use?